Many people will be tuning in to the NFL this winter for major clashes between major teams over major snacks. But for those of us who need a little more fuzzy cuteness in our football games- and are considering adopting a pet- there is, the Puppy Bowl. This year, in February, Puppy Bowl 2018 will be barking off with high flying, furry pups vying with all their doggy might to accomplish adorable feats of pupleticism on the fake grass gridiron. There will be no potty pads in the end zone, so tensions on the dog grass are expected to run quite high.
But the Puppy Bowl is much more than just an exposition of cuteletecism on a tiny field of bestriped green. It is a chance for some of the cutest orphan dogs in the country to find good, loving homes after displaying all of their adorable prowess on the field. The Puppy Bowl is an adoption-paloosa where the cutetenders are offered up for adoption on this very popular Super Bowl Sunday television event.
First aired in 2005, the Puppy Bowl has become an annual tradition in both cuteness and kindness as some of the nation’s most adorable pups from around the country come together for treats and the love of sport so that they can be offered up for adoption by the viewing public.
Some of the puppies in this year’s Puppy Bowl come from regions that have been damaged in the natural disasters of 2017 like Houston, Florida, and Puerto Rico. There will be a few special needs puppies such as the sight-impaired Ryder; Chance, the hearing impaired Dalmatian; a visually impaired Border collie, Moonshine; and a Pomeranian with a cleft palate names Luna. Many of the animals have had to be relocated due to a stark dearth of indoor doggy potties and housebreaking professionals- some of which could have been avoided by the use of an indoor dog potty solution such as Bark Potty. The producers hope viewers will open their hearts and their homes to help out.
The pre-game coverage will begin at 2 p.m. EST on Super Bowl Sunday and the game will last for two hours beginning at 3 p.m. EST. There will be 90 dogs on the field, all of which will be artfully cajoled by the Rufferee using a heady combination of peanut butter, doggy treats, and baby talk. All of the dogs on the field come from animal shelters from all over the country and all of them are available for adoption.
But this year’s Puppy Bowl features much more than just puppies. The game will begin with the piano playing chicken from America’s Got Talent named Jokgu. He will be rendering a chicken flavored version of the Star Spangled Banner on an electric keyboard. A bevy of barnyard baby cheerleaders that includes an adorable admixture of piglets, ducklings, and baby bunnies will be on hand to encourage our four-legged K9 athletes. The scoreboard will be operated by Surge the hamster, somehow, who will be manning, or hamstering, his treadwheel. Shirley, the rescue sloth will serve as an assistant rufferee. A rescued African Gray Parrot, who goes by the name of Meep, will be tweeting out important updates on the progress of the event as the puppies tussle for points and glory… and for peanut butter, mostly.
There will also be a kitty filled halftime show starring Phil the Cat and Prince Michael who will be performing their scratch hit, “Meow, Meow, Meow.”
You can look forward to creative new and signature moves by these inspired four-legged athletes such as the “the Dachshund Butt-tumble,” the “300-Yard Touch Down,” the “Peanut Butter Cookie Head Fake,” the “Poodle Pair Power Play,” the “Aww-Fensive Line,” all intermingled with a whole lot of unnecessary ruffness.
The water bowl cam will help to capture many of the most difficult camera work in the game. Over the years, cleverly hidden cameras have been key to capturing the subtlety of many of these animal’s uncanny signature moves and slights of paw as they battle for supremacy on the growl-iron.
This year’s human rufferee is Dan Schachner from Beer Money, who will be assisted, eventually, by Shirley the rescue sloth. Hopefully, between the two of them, they can somehow get these two teams of treat crazed pups to focus on one or more of the many football-shaped toys and maneuver in a way that might be ruffly analogous to a touchdown.
The creators of the Puppy Bowl are adding an extra twist this year. It’s a pre-game day event entitled “The Dog Bowl.” This is Animal Planet’s first doggy adoption game show, hosted by Jil Rappaport- the celebrated animal advocate. This program will air on Saturday, February 3rd at 7 p.m. EST. The Dog Bowl will feature a crew of adorable rescue dogs from 11 different states including 50 dogs aged 2 to 15.
For the cat people out there, the 2018 Kitty Bowl will be showing on the Hallmark Channel at noon on the same day. The Kitty Bowl is also an adoption event, with adorable rescue kittens and rescue cats from animal shelters all over the United States and outlying territories who are looking for a good home. Kitty Bowl studio would appreciate any donations of scratch-proof mittens prior to the event.
So tune in this coming Super Bowl weekend for flying fur, and adorable action as these animals do their best to earn those treats in a wiener-take-all, no-hounds-barred showdown.